Why I talk about money so much

Sometimes when I tell people I coach around money, I feel cringey.

Not because I actually think it’s cringe, but because I think they think it’s cringe. I assume they’re making certain assumptions, like:

• it seems greedy or materialistic to focus on making money

• making money comes at the expense of people’s humanity

• focusing on money ruins relationships and stops you being generous

• there are better ways to help the world than talk about money all the times

• it sounds ruthless to say “I like to make money”

For whatever reason, a lot of people I run into are conditioned to think there’s something immoral about liking money or being interested in making more. I was conditioned this way too. It took me a long time to accept that money was my “thing”—that I like making it, and I like talking about it. Let’s get into some of the stuff I had to confront before I could get comfortable with it.

Just because I’m a money coach doesn’t mean I think it’s better to have a lot more money.

Money is morally neutral. There’s nothing better or worse about you as a person if you have more or less money. There’s nothing morally wrong with you if you’re “not good with money”, or if you have debt, or you’re not skilled at financial management. Some people are naturally good at making and managing money, some are not. It’s a learnable skill. There’s nothing better or worse about trying to make a lot of money, or trying to live with less money, or not wanting to think about money, or loving to think about money - money is a just a tool that different people have different relationships with.

I’m interested in helping people to cultivate a healthier relationship with money, which often means feeling neutral about money. I like to call this “shoulder shrug energy” - shrug your shoulders and don’t be so attached to it. Money comes, money goes. Don’t let it run your life.

I’m all for minimising the amount of money you rely on having. I love to help people make money, and I think making money is fun, but I also live a very low cost lifestyle. I don’t feel desperate to earn money all the time. I like to help my clients feel unattached from the cycle of needing to make ever-more money to sustain their lives.

Everybody comes to me with money baggage. A lot of people are very stressed about the lack of it. A lot of people are very greedy to make more. I want you to feel neutral. Money won’t solve all your problems. That’s why I’m mostly interested in helping you feel relaxed about it.

But here’s why I’m so passionate about helping people to create abundant independent income.

1. A certain portion of the population rely on the skill of making money on their own terms, and I want to help them.

A lot of people are completely fine working a “normal job” and taking a paycheck in exchange for working when and how they’re told. If that’s you, that’s awesome. (Because there’s nothing morally better or worse about working a day job versus having your own business!) Some people love to work for somebody else, come home at the end of the day and not think about work any more, and I endorse that wholeheartedly.

But the types of people that I tend to work with usually find that the conventional 9-5 model of work plays havoc with their mental health. If you have a chronic health issue (physical or mental), you might not have the capacity to show up at a workplace for consistent hours. If you’re neurodivergent there might be things about a conventional working environment that are really difficult for you to tolerate. A lot of my people do much better when they’re able to choose the hours they work, their environment and the people they interact with.

(Personally, I want to die when I think about showing up at the same job at the same time every day to do the same thing.)

It’s really important for the mental health of some individuals and their household units that they can figure out how to support themselves financially without having to show up to a job. So I love to help people to create income in unconventional ways.

2. I’ve worked in multiple industries where financial exploitation is rife, and I stand against that.

In these industries, the culture of financial exploitation is often framed as a culture of “family” and an expectation that people do each other favours for the sake of higher shared goals. When you’re doing passion work with people you love, it can feel grubby or greedy to say “I need to be paid properly for this.” I’ve seen it in the performing arts, in higher education and religious institutions; three places where people are bonded by sacrificing themselves to a “cause”. But ultimately it translates to expecting other people—and yourself—to work long, hard hours for low pay. (Also, there are always people at the top actually making good money on the backs of the unpaid workers!) And I hate that for us.

3. Fair pay is an issue that disproportionately affects women.

Women are often over-represented in the creative / “soft skill” industries, which tend to be undervalued financially by society at large. Women are often the ones who work casual/temporary/precarious jobs while juggling childcare and caring responsiblities. Women are often the ones running households while their partners and dependents go out and earn money and pursue dreams, and when women do try to start passion projects and make income on the side, it’s usually on top of their unpaid labour at home. Women are also, typically, conditioned to find it difficult to ask for what we need. So I’m really proud of teaching women to say things like “My time costs this much, it will take this long, here’s how much you need to pay.”

That’s why I’ll never, ever apologise for talking about money!